OK... so there's this boy... and he's like... all wrong... well... He's actually really perfect but (sigh) oh boy... ok so let me start by saying our relationship right now is like a secret affair. No one knows about it. I kinda don't want anyone to know about it. I already can't stand the teasing from my mom and aunt saying that he's my boyfriend (this was more prominent when we were just hanging out a lot (videogames and whatnot)). I'm not sure I could handle anyone else knowing... especially since I'm still 17 and he's... let's just say he's well over 18. Right now we are more of a touchy couple even tho there's a lot of emotion there.
Things happen.
I wonder how I would have approached my previous relationships if I'd had all the experiences I've had this past year...
Speaking of previous relationships... the close one seems to be getting closer... in class these past few days he hasn't been looking thru me but at me... it's kinda strange. Oh and there were still a few open computers left around the room for him to work on but he choose the one next to me... I don't kno what's going on...
Wait. Let me check something.
HAH! Just as I thought. He's single again... :) ...It's not really smile worthy but hey, I was right and that's why I'm smiling. I don't kno how I knew but I just knew...
Anyway.......
I just had a major freak out because I was going to change the names on the side bar to only initials and I realized there's going to be a JM and a JW. Then I started talking to myself about how JM could only wish to be as great as JW but then thought about how wonderful it was when JM was holding me and how odd JW has become. I'm so conflicted... I don't wanna compare those two in my brain for more than .25 seconds ever again.
Nothing new to report on the far away one other than when he got a new number he told me to text it. It still makes me very sad that we don't talk nearly as much as we used to. Cara triste.
GAAHHHHH that's pretty much what the new guy says... but in English. Sad face.
Otay... well I better stop talking now cause a different older guy wants to talk and I told him I wouldn't talk while I blog... if I lose my thoughts... I'm dead. I can't get distracted while I write these things or the entire thing wouldn't make any sense.
Okay
I'm leaving now
I mean now...
January 27, 2011
January 11, 2011
Loooong Time No Post
Well I'm kinda sorry there hasn't been any posts recently but it's not like anyone reads this anyway.
Now to the feelings and whatnot.
There's kinda a new guy... but there shouldn't be... because he's like... 11 years older than me....
I really like him tho and he really likes me. He says all the right things and notices when I'm not doing well even when my own mother doesn't. Some how he's worked his way... some where he shouldn't have... I would prefer not to talk about that. He's my buddy, and always has been. I used to confide in him when I could with no one else. He was always the understanding one... recently has hasn't been on my side completely. Like when my mom was talking about doing my homework and whatever and I started crying because I had already felt bad but then she just made me feel like nothing. He pipes up and says, you wouldn't feel so bad if you did it. I'm unable to describe the anger and sadness I felt. It completely broke me. Then he has the nerve to ask what's wrong... needless to say I wasn't happy with him and didn't talk to him for a while. It's really sad now tho (sad as in pathetic) that we are almost physically unable to stay away from each other... he comes in my room at night and we talk about random things like how he thinks I'm secretly a lesbian... just random crap like that oh and also him describing how I'm hot. Like literally going over how every part of my body is screaming HOTT! even my tummy... it's "kissable"... same with my ears and neck...
you don't really need to kno that tho... anyway... I haven't talked to the far away one for a long time... ever since that crash he was in with his girlfriend on new years. Apparently his phone has been off since then, which makes me VERY sad. It shouldn't bother me tho. He has a girlfriend and lives so far away. Even tho he said that he would be with me if he had the chance, the chance will never happen.
I'm getting side tracked now and this is already really long. I'll update it more often so there won't be so much to say...
Now to the feelings and whatnot.
There's kinda a new guy... but there shouldn't be... because he's like... 11 years older than me....
I really like him tho and he really likes me. He says all the right things and notices when I'm not doing well even when my own mother doesn't. Some how he's worked his way... some where he shouldn't have... I would prefer not to talk about that. He's my buddy, and always has been. I used to confide in him when I could with no one else. He was always the understanding one... recently has hasn't been on my side completely. Like when my mom was talking about doing my homework and whatever and I started crying because I had already felt bad but then she just made me feel like nothing. He pipes up and says, you wouldn't feel so bad if you did it. I'm unable to describe the anger and sadness I felt. It completely broke me. Then he has the nerve to ask what's wrong... needless to say I wasn't happy with him and didn't talk to him for a while. It's really sad now tho (sad as in pathetic) that we are almost physically unable to stay away from each other... he comes in my room at night and we talk about random things like how he thinks I'm secretly a lesbian... just random crap like that oh and also him describing how I'm hot. Like literally going over how every part of my body is screaming HOTT! even my tummy... it's "kissable"... same with my ears and neck...
you don't really need to kno that tho... anyway... I haven't talked to the far away one for a long time... ever since that crash he was in with his girlfriend on new years. Apparently his phone has been off since then, which makes me VERY sad. It shouldn't bother me tho. He has a girlfriend and lives so far away. Even tho he said that he would be with me if he had the chance, the chance will never happen.
I'm getting side tracked now and this is already really long. I'll update it more often so there won't be so much to say...
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