Loooong Time No Post

Well I'm kinda sorry there hasn't been any posts recently but it's not like anyone reads this anyway.
Now to the feelings and whatnot.
There's kinda a new guy... but there shouldn't be... because he's like... 11 years older than me....
I really like him tho and he really likes me. He says all the right things and notices when I'm not doing well even when my own mother doesn't. Some how he's worked his way... some where he shouldn't have... I would prefer not to talk about that. He's my buddy, and always has been. I used to confide in him when I could with no one else. He was always the understanding one... recently has hasn't been on my side completely. Like when my mom was talking about doing my homework and whatever and I started crying because I had already felt bad but then she just made me feel like nothing. He pipes up and says, you wouldn't feel so bad if you did it. I'm unable to describe the anger and sadness I felt. It completely broke me. Then he has the nerve to ask what's wrong... needless to say I wasn't happy with him and didn't talk to him for a while. It's really sad now tho (sad as in pathetic) that we are almost physically unable to stay away from each other... he comes in my room at night and we talk about random things like how he thinks I'm secretly a lesbian... just random crap like that oh and also him describing how I'm hot. Like literally going over how every part of my body is screaming HOTT! even my tummy... it's "kissable"... same with my ears and neck...
you don't really need to kno that tho... anyway... I haven't talked to the far away one for a long time... ever since that crash he was in with his girlfriend on new years. Apparently his phone has been off since then, which makes me VERY sad. It shouldn't bother me tho. He has a girlfriend and lives so far away. Even tho he said that he would be with me if he had the chance, the chance will never happen.


I'm getting side tracked now and this is already really long. I'll update it more often so there won't be so much to say...